yerse.co.uk

Also:

Attempting to do ANYTHING in Scribus without it crashing or fucking up my layout because I accidentally breathed on the keyboard is nigh-on impossible.  I wish I had some proper design software that didn’t make me want to launch myself head first into the Mersey every five minutes.

Tips from an expert…

Hey there kids.  All none of you.  Here are some ideas for what not to do on a Bank Holiday Sunday:

1) Do not think for one minute that going out on a Bank Holiday Sunday to drink for an entire afternoon ON AN EMPTY STOMACH will work out for the best.  There will be a godawful hangover and a nagging doubt that you may well have made an utter tit out of yourself or done something rather embarrassing whilst shitfaced.

2) Under no circumstances should you think it’s a good idea to sit in bed all day Bank Holiday Monday.  Fresh air and a lot of water will shift the hangover more efficiently than moping about playing on your Wii.

3) Do not go and see cover bands at the Mathew Street Festival.

4) Don’t be so bloody cynical about everything and you’ll probably be OK.

So about three of these actually applied to me over the weekend.  Fair enough, they’re pretty specific in their content so I’m sure you could’ve figured out they weren’t just generic rules for life, but I’m stuck in work and can’t think of a more interesting way to put this crap.

Are hangovers meant to last for two days?  I still feel like shit.  Ho hum.

And blandest music of 2008 goes to…

Sharleen Spiteri, once of bland Scot-poppers Texas.  I had to mute the advert, lest I turn beige and start reading the Daily Mail.
Also, uh, whoever the christ commissioned that awful advert for Midori needs to seriously consider taking their commercial off the air as soon as possible.  It looks worse than any of the shite student films I made at university, which really is saying something, I guarantee it.

And does anybody have a spare boss computer they’d be willing to give me for free to replace my currently-fucked one?  No?  Thought not.  I guess I’ll have to fix it, then.

The Most Disgusting Thing I Have Seen Today

…would have to be the little chunk of turd that has somehow managed to find its way out of the toilet in my office building and into the corridor, where I assume nobody dares to clean it up.  I don’t know who it belongs to, but I do know that whoever it is needs to seriously have a bloody word with themselves.  Yech.

In other news, a small bowl of Grape Nuts and a banana at 7am is a great breakfast, but not one that keeps hunger locked up til lunch.  I’m sipping water to cope.  Oh, and apparently they’re sticking me on New Deal next week.  Yee-fucking-ha.

Putting Some Effort In

I should really bother to learn CSS/XHTML, shouldn’t I?  It’d be far better than going “ooh, that’s a nice theme, that’ll make me look like I know what I’m doing” and then not even noticing the honking great “THEME CREATED BY” bit at the bottom.

What can I say, I overlook details when I’m doing stuff for myself.  In work it’s generally another matter entirely, but when it’s for myself I really do get a bit sloppy.  So this is my project - something to work on and learn from, etc.

Also I’ll actually be attempting to write hilarious articles as well, but that may never happen.

A Day In The Life

I’ve spent the past few weeks working at a small company doing an unpaid placement, re-designing a load of stuff for them and whatnot.  Apparently, to break into the “industry”, one needs a stupid amount of experience that you can only get from getting a job where you’re… required to have at least some experience of working in the industry.  Total catch-22 situation, and one that makes me want to pull my bloody fingernails out sometimes.

It.  Is.  Irritating.  As all hell.  I suppose, though, that it’s fair enough - I did my degree in Media (yes, christ, media, what kind of idiot does that) and as such I’ve wound up as a jack-of-all-trades, rather than a master of any one in particular.  And because of this, and because of the inability of my design tutor at university to provide any actual help to us other than “oh, you can use this 3-year-old version of Quark and Photoshop 6 to do these piss-easy tasks that don’t actually TEACH you anything”, I’ve had to teach myself.  Which I am blatantly far too lazy for.

I’ve lost my point.  I’ll get back to you on this.